Price of Fitting In
There once lived a man named Timothy in a faraway land that
knew not what it was like to have a wife. He wanted a wife for as long as he
could remember. He wanted to grow old with a woman raising their children
together. He also wanted very much so to be included in his friend group when
his friends went over with their wives to Mark’s house. Mark’s house was where
all the cool and interesting get togethers happened, at least that was what he
was told. One day he was walking along the street when an old women bumped into
him on the sidewalk.
“I am so sorry young man. I must not have been looking where
I was going” the old lady said.
“It is no trouble” said Timothy as he turned to continue
walking.
The lady grabbed his hand and pulled his face down to hers
so she might inspect his face.
“You have a very interesting soul. You should marry my
daughter she is about the same age as you” said the old lady.
“Thank you, but no thank you” said Timothy as he turned to
walk away quickly.
Then out of the corner of his eye he saw the most beautiful
woman he had ever seen sitting on the bench. She waved to him to come sit down
next to her. He dumbly walked over and started to have a conversation with her.
This just so happened to be the old lady’s daughter. Soon after a while they were
married and living together. Timothy was finally invited to Mark’s house to one
of his get togethers. He showed up with his wife but for some reason he couldn’t
remember going home with her. He also couldn’t find her anywhere at their
house. Eventually he figured she must still be at Mark’s house so he went back
to see her. He found her strolling out of Mark’s house covered in blood.
“What happened? Are you okay? Why are you covered in blood?”
“Mark forced himself on me so did the other men at the
party. Apparently it is not a very friendly party, and your friends wanted to
bite off a bit more than they could chew. I’m surprised anyone shows up to
these parties at all. Mark is apparently the head of a cult and suckers people
into bringing their wives as a sacrifice to join. I am no sacrifice do you hear
me?” she said quite firmly.
“Well where are they? What did you do with them?”
“I cut the important bits off of each of them so they will
not forget what they did for as long as they live. I come from a land far from
here that consumes man flesh to become one with the gods. I left that to start
a new life. Who knew that I would use my skills again?”
“I am so sorry for what you had to go through. Let’s go to
the hospital to get you checked out then let’s go home!” Timothy said.
“Fine, fine as long as we can be home for dinner.”
The couple turned and headed off into the distance with the
sun at their back as it dipped below the earth.
Author’s Notes: This is a combination of a story about a man
who wanted a wife so he could be part of a group that got to see the wizard. He
gets a wife only to have her taken from him. He challenges the wizard and gets
her back. In my story the man does want to go to the get togethers with his
friends. His wife is taken but she cuts her way out. The second story is about
the wife who lies that gets her villages women killed. She goes back to her own
people and they believe that she is treated harshly so they attack her husband’s
village. Her husband’s village retaliates and attacks back and then kills her.
In my story the women is from a faraway land and is married off by her
grandmother. I however left out the part about her lying and instead of a
slaughter happening to those that didn’t deserve it I decided to turn it around
on Timothy’s friends.
Bibliography: Eskimo Folk-Tales by Knud Rasmussen
Hi Dallas! You certainly picked an interesting theme for your story. I really like the multiple plot twists, but I think it would make for a more compelling read if you described what happened at Mark's house instead of just having the wife tell her husband what happened. In creative writing, they always advise "show, don't tell," and I think your story would benefit from that.
ReplyDeleteGood work!
- Cate
Howdy,
ReplyDeleteI found that to be a very interesting story. It got intense fast and I liked the direction that you took it. It is hard to believe that he never knew that about his friends, but at least they got what they deserved. I love the fact that she was worried about making it home in time for dinner, I think that it’s funny that she’s still hungry after that.