Hey Dallas! Yay Werewolves! I love this! I immediately think of Harry Potter and Wizards of Waverly Place. Also, you used Wix instead of Google. I like your set up. You are able to have such a cool background, which helps a lot with your overall story! I love how the background works with the story. Also, you have a really personal introduction, which is really nice! I like your angle! Great Job!!
Howdy,I really like how the site is looking right now. The background picture that you chose is beautiful. The two wolves are very clear, and you can make out all of the small details. I think that it really sets the mood for werewolves. It has kind of a spooky vibe, while still being beautiful and majestic. I like the background info that you give for werewolves. It is important to have everybody on the same page or know how the definition is not just black and white, or maybe night and day for werewolves… haha, but I like the idea of the man putting on a belt to become a werewolf. I wonder what sort of psychological implications that has, does it make him feel powerful? Is he ok turning into something everybody may hate because he has the choice to take it off? A curse vs. a choice. Good luck with your stories, I look forward to see what you have in store!
Hi Dallas! The first thing that stood out to me about your storybook was your gorgeous cover image. I am really impressed because it's pretty difficult for me to find pictures with a comparable quality. Your synopsis about the various origin stories of werewolves also piqued my interest. In particular, I like the implications of Peter Stumpp's decision to transform into a werewolf by choice because being a werewolf is often depicted as something that werewolves themselves despise. I wonder what it is that compelled Stumpp to murder those people? Was he simply a serial killer with the werewolf acting as his disguise of sorts? I'm excited to see what his story holds in store. I'm also looking forward to reading your take on Beauty and the Beast. I find that it's interesting to explore the variations on a classic tale. In regard to your website so far, the only suggestion I have is that you add a background to the text on the "comment wall" page so that it's easier to read!
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Hey there Dallas! I had the opportunity to take a look at your project so far, and I think what you have so far is great! Initially, I was drawn in by the cover photo of the wolves at night. I really think that it added to the overall aesthetic of your page. When I looked at your introduction, I had a little bit of a hard time reading the grey text against the bright blue, so maybe you could think about changing it to black. As for the words, I was happy to see how you went into detail about how werewolves came to be in different stories. I was curious to see how you planned on taking a subject as broad as werewolves and narrowing it down somehow. Overall, your site looks great and I look forward to checking it out again in the future when you have your stories included!
Hello, Dallas! I’m glad that I had the chance to read your storybook introduction this week. It looks like we have similar projects, as I’m writing about dragons for my own storybook (I’ll drop a link at the end of this post). Since we’re both focusing on mythological creatures in our respective projects, I believe this will be beneficial for the both of us as we learn how to improve as writers! Moving on, it looks like you’re off to a good start in your intro. Obviously you know what you want to write for this project and which stories you’ll draw influences from. I personally liked how you used various werewolf myths in the intro, using examples of what your audience will expect from your storybook. As the reader, I’m left in suspense and want to learn even more about your stories and how they end. From a visual standpoint, I might use a darker background color and lighter text to match the site banner (for instance, a navy blue text box and white text would look good next to the night sky). I would also suggest using either “various” or “different” in the second-to-last paragraph, as they both mean the same thing. Overall, I can’t wait to see how your storybook progresses this semester! Storybook Link: https://sites.google.com/view/draconic-heroes/introduction
Hey Dallas,When I saw your stories were going to be about werewolves I had to click right away. I too, have always had a fascination with werewolves and anything supernatural. I am a big horror fan, so this is right up my alley. I enjoyed the background information that you have supplied us with to give us details about the origin of werewolves. One question I had is what are the other two stories that you are going to talk about? I know you mention the first story we were going to read about but not the other two. Is Beauty and the Beast one of the stories as well or just a separate one we are going to learn about? I also enjoyed learning about Peter Stumpp. I thought that tidbit was very interesting and adds authenticity to what you are writing about. I am hoping your stories are going to be dark and mysterious because that is how I feel werewolves are. Overall, I really enjoyed your introduction. It gave great background detail about what you were going to be telling us about and even gave us historical notes. Keep up the good work and cannot wait to read more of your stories!
Hello!First of all, I want to say you did a great job with the introduction. It really helped explain to people why you were writing about werewolves, and helped them get into your point of view to read the rest of the stories. The story I am most excited about is the classic Beauty and the Beast! I am curious as to whether your story-telling type will include more dialogue or more character development? I feel like in this case you are already so prominent on the werewolves that it would be cool to see you specifically focus more on their character developments. Also, will the werewolves all be the same in each of the stories? Or, will each werewolf behave differently? Other than that, the main thing I liked about your intro was the descriptions and how you explained your love for werewolves. In the Beauty and Beast story, will the Beauty character remain the same? Or will you be making changes to her as well?
Hi Dallas!Your site is very well set up, and the background picture of the wolves immediately sets me in the theme of werewolves. I thought it was very clever how you included a tab for the comment wall rather than just having a link at the front page like I did. This is something I may change up on my website. Additionally, your introduction was helpful in letting me know what to expect in your future stories. Your first story was very interesting and a fun read overall. I did notice a grammatical error when you did not include commas after Jenny when she is being introduced. It kind of runs on into her description of being a nurse. But overall, this was a great story, one of my favorite that i have read so far. I hope that you continue with this character John in your future stories.
Hi Dallas! I think it is really cool that your were able to research and write about something that you are so interested in for your storybook project. I love the image that you chose for the homepage and background of your website. It really sets the mystical theme of werewolf stories. I also like how you used your introduction to tell us readers in first person what exactly your book was going to be about. Did you consider switching points of view in the introduction or starting into one of your stories? That could have drawn the reader into your first story too. You did a nice job with your Cost of the Deal story. I really did not see what was coming at the end! I might recommend spacing out the paragraphs and dialogue on the story so that it is a bit easier to read, but I do really like the white font on the dark background. Good job on your storybook so far!
Hi Dallas! It's awesome that you were able to incorporate something that fascinates you into your storybook. Your introduction did a really good job of letting readers know what to expect from your stories and giving us a bit of background about werewolves. I didn't know there were so many different theories/tales about them! Your first story was really good. I definitely did not see the ending coming! You usually don't see werewolf stories set in modern times, so it was cool to read this in the context of John's life. The symbolism of him turning into a monster because of his betrayal of his promise to Jenny is really good.One thing I would suggest is breaking up your paragraphs to make them easier to read. It's hard to follow dialogue when there aren't paragraph breaks -- each time a new character speaks, start a new paragraph. It makes it a lot easier to follow! Also -- and this is a small thing -- when you click on your "chapters" tab (rather than "chapter 1," "chapter 2," etc.) it takes you to a screen where it seems there is some filler text, so you might want to edit that out!
Hey Dallas, I really like this story. You did very well in making it your own. I also really enjoyed all of the dialogue. I think it is very important in making a well-rounded story. You also made it a much lighter story I see. The original sounded quite gruesome. I would love some more in depth detail in this story. You mention a man that stops John before he leaves the casino and you mention he has a trench coat with biker goggles. I think you could make this part even more vivid by mentioning whether or not he has a creepy style, whether he is tall or not, things like that. During the card game you could give more detail about the people he is playing with. Maybe they look creepy too? When John comes back to find the casino and it is missing you mention all that is left is snow and mud. Previously in the story you had never mentioned the weather. Maybe this could be a precursor as he is driving to where the casino was at? There is also one sentence at the end that says a tear rolled out of John's eye and hit the pavement, but they were still in the casino at that time I thought. This is just a small detail but you may say carpet or something like that. I really enjoyed this creepy tale. Thanks!
Hi Dallas!I just finished reading through your storybook, and I think it's so fun that you picked the topic of werewolves. I didn't know there were so many different origin stories for werewolves, like the belt vs. the bite, so it was really interesting to learn about that. I liked a lot of the images you used in your storybook, although I would recommend revisiting some of the color schemes, because they make some of the pages difficult to read. I did have a couple other suggestions for edits for you as well. One, although your introduction is very informative, I would recommend not giving so many spoilers for your stories. Since you essentially told us the plots of your stories in your intro, I didn't feel that invested in reading the stories, because I sort of already knew what was going to happen. You also might work on the grammar/spacing a little bit (for example, start a new paragraph for dialogue, check punctuation, etc.). That said, some of the ideas in the stories are really creative and interesting! I really hope this feedback is useful to you! Good luck! :)
Hi Dallas!To start off with, the image that you choose to be the banner for your introductory page is incredible! I almost felt as if I could pet the wolves through my screen because the details were that good. I appreciate that you included a picture of the wolves and the moon, as opposed to only featuring the wolves. That image gave me a clear indication to what the theme would be; werewolves (not just wolves or nature). Overall, I liked the images that you used in the rest of your stories. The only thing I would change about this storybook is the color schemes/background images that were used. I absolutely love the idea of setting your images as the background to your stories, however sometimes if made the stories hard to read. Maybe you could make the font of the stories a little bit bolder (or bigger) or try and dim the background pictures. That is the only thing I would change in regards to images. Good job!
Hey Dallas! I love the theme of your storybook, and also (as well as some of the previous comments) love the high quality photo of the wolves with the moon. Right off the bat, I will say that it's kind of hard to find the Intro, Chapters and Comment Wall links at the top because of the coloring. I honestly only knew to look up there because the Home was green already! Would it be possible to switch the colors and make them green first? Besides that, I thought your introduction was well-written and gave good insight for what your storybook was going to be about. I thought that all your chapters had great elements, especially all of the dialogue, and were interesting and kept me reading. In A Thief's Reward, I also liked how you kept so many elements of Beauty and the Beast but changed it up. Great job!
Hey Dallas! I just finished reading through your storybook, and I really like what you have so far. The theme jumps out to me from the second the home page opens, and that's an awesome picture in your background. I like how you give us a taste of each story in your introduction without giving away too much. That's a great way of keeping your audience hooked! As a guy who loves to gamble on sports, I related to your first story on a whole different level. Your stories flow really well and are easy to follow, and I like how you adjusted the original stories to make it your own. One thing I think could help even more is if you put each line of dialogue on separate lines. It might make it easier for your reader to understand who's saying what. Also, I love the overall setup of your website, but what if you changed the text color in your menu to white? I had trouble reading it and navigating between your stories at times. Looking forward to seeing where this goes!
Hey Dallas!I read through your story book and great job so far. I think you should change the color of your navigation labels. Black on black makes it really hard to see the names of the different pages, but I really like how the green color looks when you highlight it. If you tweak that I think you will have a great home page because the image you have is awesome. I really love in depth you go on your introduction. Becasue of you I learned a lot of things about werewolves that I never would have known before. How much time did you spend digging up all the history on the folklore of werewolves?In your stories I would try to have more breaks in the text. Sometimes your paragraphs look massive and blocky. I think it would look better and be easier to read if you just added some more spacing.
Hey Dallas!I’ve always been a fan of the more original-style werewolf stories (none of that twilight-type of stuff), so your story was very fun to read. One of my favorite movies of all time is An American Werewolf in London which you might be able to draw some influence from (if you haven’t already). The details that you had throughout the story were rich and vivid, conveying with ease the location that this servant is walking though. One thing I wish was in the story was either closure with the father realizing his daughter is now a werewolf, or the father giving away one of his daughters. However, the way you told it was great. A final thing that I quite liked about the story was how menacing you wrote Wolfenstein (nice video game reference) as this super ominous character that could definitely do some serious harm to others. Overall, superb story.Andrew
Hey Dallas!I just read your most recent story, “Ahiga The Brave” which I think I liked the best out of your three stories for this class. Firstly, I loved the detail that you included within the short story. By adding such vivid detail throughout, I was able to easily imbue myself within the story, feeling the emotions/hopelessness felt by the main characters as the story progresses. Next, your use of Native American folklore throughout your essays has really kept a consistently tone and theme going on. Being from Oklahoma, I appreciate and look for things like this, that related back to the Oklahoman Native American community. Essays like this that spread the word/myths of other cultures help keep those cultures alive, especially when the proper areas are credited with the works. Overall, I thought you did a superb job this semester with your essays. Congrats to us for getting through one more semester of classes! Andrew
Hi Dallas! I love the banner picture you have. The wolves are so pretty. The navigation bar is a little hard to navigate because the titles appear in black, which is hard to see because it blends in the with gray of the bar. In Cost of the Deal, you describe the casino as a den of evil with creatures. It would in interesting to describe some of these creatures in the story when John walks in. It might add to the mystery of the story. I really enjoyed A Thief's Reward. I like your take on the original Beauty and the Beast, especially the irony of Beauty turning into a sort of monster instead of the Beast turning back into a man. I wonder if she will accept this new identity. It must be shocking to turn into a werewolf and learn that you will be married to the person who turned her. I enjoyed your stories and the theme of the storybook! Well done! Good luck with the last few weeks of class.
Hi Dallas! I just read your storybook again. I'm glad I got to come back to it one last time! The image for the Ahiga the Brave story is very scary. Those eyes! Oh no! Peer pressure; I wonder what the boys will decide to do. I love that he used Google Maps, new technology meets old folk tale. I can't believe his friends didn't join him until after the first night. I like how you used Skinwalker - how did you come across that word? Was that in one of the folk tales? Nevermind; you answered my question in the author's note! I wonder what it feels like to transform into a wolf. In this telling, it doesn't seem painful - it just sort of happened and his perspective changed from two legs to four. I also liked that you explained his name in the author's note! A very action packed finale to your storybook!
Hello Dallas!I just read through your storybook and I am amazed at the fact that I hadn't read it before! One of the things I really enjoyed about this story is the addition of technology to old folk tales. I am talking about when the boy used google maps to continue his quest. I think that the addition of tech into these old stories really breathes new life into stories that may be worn out. Often times movies will try to use this tactic but they often overdo it. I think your execution of that in this story was spot on. Great job!